she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
