bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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