I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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