I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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