Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
