You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
