my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
