i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
