no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
