I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Come on in and take your pants off
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