Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
