She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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