Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
