Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
