I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
