Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
