you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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