i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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