Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
