I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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