Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
