____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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