So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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