My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
