I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
