Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
