Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
