Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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