Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
