I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
