I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
