Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize