I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
