I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
