Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I woke up under a house in Key West
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