she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i think my tv is drunk
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
