you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
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