his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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