Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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