I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
