I want to have your abortion
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
