dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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