the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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