Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
