they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
