You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
