Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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