Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
