This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
