he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
